Crying Out Loud

I am in a point in my life where I don't know what to do. I am hurting so much on my insides and I'm just not sure what I want or need. I was called to receive a calling and the first question I was asked was if I believed that I was worthy of receiving it. I knew that I'm not and it hurts so badly. I am being restricted from many blessings that the Lord is so willingly giving to me. I realized that I need more help than I expected I did today and so I am going to talk to my bishop about it later on.

I feel alone in this though. I know that my Heavenly Father is always by my side and his son Jesus Christ is there for me at all times but I can't help but feeling like I am very alone going through this at this time. It took two to tango to get into this mess but it seems like its only me paying the price. My mom says that its not fair for what I'm going through and that I have to go through it alone but I don't feel like its that big of a problem. It seems like no matter how hard I try lately nothing is getting done and nothing is progressing including myself.

I realized that my problem is that I cannot say no. I know that I really need to work on it because I am letting too many people push me around, take advantage of me, and keep me from trying to fulfill my true potential. I have so much more I can become and I am holding myself back from that. If I could be strengthened to be able to stop letting people walk all over me than I would be closer to my desired place in the world and how I feel inside. I'm working on it and it's really hard but I'll get it one day. For now I can only be me.